My jokes

My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.

What did The Rock say to his dad?

"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"

I will never forget my grandfather's last words:

"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"

I like my orphans how I like my wine, locked in my basement for ten.

I wish the grass in my backyard was emo so it would cut itself.

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

Say "crack my finger" backwards.

My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."

"Discuss the synopsis of this poem: My Friend Billy Has A Ten-Foot Willy."

My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.

My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.

I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.

It's my fort knight.

Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."

She said, "Who's there?"

I said, "I Eat eat my mop."

She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."

My grandad broke his legs.

To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."

When I see James Charles, my popcorn goes pop pop.

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

I like my women like I like my diving pools.

Wet and deep.

"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"

"Shut up and leave the bedroom."