My jokes

My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."

LOL

My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."

I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."

The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.

Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.

Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!

Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.

I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

I got the joke from my brother.

Mom told me drugs are my enemies.

Jesus said to like your enemies.

Yay, I can like drugs then!

Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑

Y'all wanna hear a joke? My life.

My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.

A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.

My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Your mom.

Fuck you you rwind my life.

I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.