My jokes
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
All these jokes really hijacking my mind.
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
Memes
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?!"
I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
My name is Ethan, and I don't find this funny.
I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.