New My Jokes - Page 196 - Worst Jokes Ever

What is the state of California best for? Screwing everything up!

What is the state of Florida for? Rednecks for days!

What is the state of Texas for? Guns!

What is the state of Utah for? Mormons and Pligs baby! (I hate all of the religious stuff!)

What is the state of Idaho for? Calling other people Ho's, mostly!

What is the state of Nevada for? Ever heard of gambling?

What is the state of Delaware for? Literally anything that isn't exciting!

What is the state of New York for? In my state of mind, it's a song! (If you don't get this one, look up the song of New York State of Mind)

Things you say before sex, Disney addition:

"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"

If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.

A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"

Riddle me this. Riddle me that.

Why did my parents never come back?

Hello, if you don't know me (which you probably don't), my name is watersharky, or WS, or Shark.

I am a normal, weird kid/preteen, and that's it. If you want more info on me, I will gladly share! Shark out.

A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.

Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"

A kid is learning about planets in school, when he hears the planet Uranus. Knowing it's the perfect opportunity for a joke, the kid replies, "Where's my anus?"

I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"

Roses are red, But grass is greener, When I think of you, I play with my wiener.

Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.

I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."

What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.

I cried when my dad cut onions.

Onions was a good dog.

I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.

At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.