My jokes

Add joke

Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?

My Friend: What’s that?

Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it, but I'm not too worried. I think she is joking.

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.

I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.

I was watching my daughter play at the park. A woman came up to me and asked which one was mine. I said I was still choosing.

Last time I ate a vegetable, I got banned from my sister's group home.

I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!

I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."

My name is Mariah Carly Brown, and I am an orphan, and what do I say about your jokes that are not funny... STOP THEM!

Dark humor is mean! All day I go to see all the jokes I find, and I see "Orphan jokes."

What kind of sick person likes that kind of joke? By the way, it is not a question. I have 3 twin sisters! Lariah, Kariah, and Iariah! Iariah starts with an i! So stop the jokes, please!

My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...

UGHHHHHHH TODAY WAS TERRIBLE! My wife got hit by a bus!!! And I lost my job as a bus driver!

Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?

You: What?

Me: She let it go, let it go!

What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?

One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.

What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.