Mortality jokes
Why can’t the T-Rex clap his hands?
Because he is DEAD.
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
You are so ugly my man died.
The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.
How do trannies pass successfully? By passing away.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
I hope Death is a woman.
That way, it will never come for me.
Dark humor is like food:
Not everyone gets it.
Or a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.