Mortality jokes
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
What's the grossest thing ever?
A bag of dead babies.
What's even more gross?
The bottom one is still wriggling!
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Grandma: Most people your age have a family and are married. Why aren’t you?
Grandchild: Most your age are dead. Why aren’t you?
At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"
At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when kids get it.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.