You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.
Grandma: Most people your age have a family and are married. Why aren’t you?
Grandchild: Most your age are dead. Why aren’t you?
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
I have a fish that can break dance. Only for about 20 seconds, and only once.
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"
"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
