Mortality jokes

My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.

Shit, I’m never gonna try to commit suicide again. I almost died!

Why can’t the T-Rex clap his hands?

Because he is DEAD.

I'd tell you a Kobe joke.

But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.

You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.

We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.

Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.

Why are cigarettes good for the environment?

They kill people.

🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"

"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."

Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.

Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.

I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!

I have a fish that can break dance. Only for about 20 seconds, and only once.

Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?

To get hit by a car.