Mortality jokes
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
What starts with M and ends with arriage?
Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child.
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!
I have a fish that can break dance. Only for about 20 seconds, and only once.
Dead people can’t cross the street because they're dead, ha ha!
85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.
(Teach me your ways, 15%.)
Oliver Savage's life.
A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."
At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"
At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"
Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
Doctor: I have bad news and really bad news.
Patient: What's the bad news?
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What's the really bad news?
Doctor: I forgot to tell you yesterday.