Shit, I’m never gonna try to commit suicide again. I almost died!
Failed Suicide Attempt
Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen here, Keagan, you absolute cotton-headed ninny muggins. You say you almost died after trying to commit suicide? Well, duh! That's the whole point, you goofball. You're so dense you'd think a square is a circle. Clearly, you're not cut out for self-destruction, maybe try something easier, like untying your shoelaces.
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