Son: Dad I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure ur my parents? Dad: oh...., well I never thought it would come to this, or to ur head that you were kidnapped..... Son: am I kidnapped? Dad; well ur adopted, and if you want to see ur biological parents they’ll be waiting for you in heaven
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old
I have a question, does aging affect corpses too? just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
I hope Death is a woman. That way it will never come for me.
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one."
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
I’m rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him", so i couldn't do a fatality. I was confused but i understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
someone dies
me explaining the school nurse that ice cant cure everything nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
