Morbid jokes
Q: What were my son's last words before he died?
A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
Who do Chinese people name their kids?
Throw the forks and knives down the stairs.
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.
If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
Daniel takes his frustrations out on Shaenaya and his sexual frustrations out on Arunima.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dad!
Dad who?
Silence.
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
Why did the robot cross the road?
Because he was programmed by the chicken!
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.
Yo mamma's so fat, she had to pull down her pants to get to her wallet!
What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
What's the definition of disappointment?
Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.
"Who am I?"
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
So um uh I like people who like people who like people.