Morbid jokes

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Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.

No one has my back like my dad.

October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.

Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.

But the cancer patients aren't.

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

Make a wish.

Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.

Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!

Rowan

My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.

Dick.

"What do you want to eat?"

"You choose."

"Children."

"What?"

*Picks up pot*

"You said anything!"

What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!

I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.

Why is 1 equal to 22?

4 is too busy and one has the 21s to 4!

Was ist der Lieblingssport eines Deutschen?

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......

Human: :D

Sun: I want to BuRn you.........

Human: .......

Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....

Human: I should be going now.

Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!

Human: *Screams his last sound*

Hi, I'm cool.

My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!

Q: What did I find on my son's search history?

A: Where is the nearest gun shop?