Morbid jokes

Why did the robot cross the road?

Because he was programmed by the chicken!

You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!

Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.

Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.

What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?

Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.

Yo mamma's so fat, she had to pull down her pants to get to her wallet!

What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

What's the definition of disappointment?

Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.

Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?

A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.

How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.

I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.

"Who am I?"

What do Nemo and my dad have in common?

They both can't be found.

So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.

So um uh I like people who like people who like people.

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.

Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!

Why is 7 afraid of 6?

Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.

Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.