Morbid jokes
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
Help me...
How are a gay guy and a refrigerator different?
When you pull the meat out of the refrigerator, it doesn’t fart.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
How do you keep a blind kid entertained?
You take him to a stadium crowd, then give him a bat and tell him to hit the piñata.
What do you call your sister who only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
99% of Roblox usernames be like: bdiejfbsie3hdiejdbisie882jeoxnd, by yYidgJyeuzyei73*-;ujduzjehzisjd, and j73heisbdjJd3nakwnwo2jdieneidjd.
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
Does anyone have an Xbox One? My gamertag is Chalkyfrog11. Add me and comment on this post telling me your gamertag.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"
I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!
I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.