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Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Regret

Little Johnny meets Big Suzy.

Little Johnny and Big Suzy got together.

Little Johnny still regrets getting together with her to this very day.

The end.

OC

My Countryhumans OC, Sahara, is the daughter of France and Soviet. When people ask why, I tell them it was the gendersnapped version of my parents making me. France (my dad) was drunk and Soviet (my mom) was being horny. Then they judge me, so I judge them with a knife to the chest 47 times.

Phone

I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.

Violence

A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"

Child Abuse

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

Punchline

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.

Crime

Me: 911, I just killed someone.

Cops: Cool, we will not come.

Me: Why?

Cops: Don't admit a crime.

Phones: *Bang Bang*

Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.

Peace

The undertaker's famous saying is "Rest In Peace" to all of his opponents, but really they don't rest in peace. The only peace they get is from God.

Chat

I'm bored and I'm sure someone scrolling through here is too, so wanna chat? Pls.

Mom

I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.

Ladder

I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.

“Are you still holding the ladder?”