Morbid jokes
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?
The dentist!
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
Goes to school with blue suppressed pistol. #1 Victory Royale!
What did Michael Jackson find on his bed?
Billie's Jeans.
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,
"Thank you for your donation!"
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
Me: The man sleeped in a $200 bed in His hole life so why dose he need a $2,000 coffin?
My friend: They're cheaper at Costco.
Me: Oh shit, you're going to have "fun" this weekend.
My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe. I said, "Why do I need this?" She said, "That you every year."
Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?
You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looked in the mirror.
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Ur mum gay, lul.
You are the joke.
Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.