Morbid jokes
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.
Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
The clock struck one!
Then down did come!
Hickory dickory doc
What am I?
Random- a mouse?
Me- no dumb shit!
Random- what is it?
Me- the guillotine!
My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe. I said, "Why do I need this?" She said, "That you every year."
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
Method Man: Yo what’s crackin’?
ODB: Yep
I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
He is dead.
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
Joke