Morbid jokes

Morbid Jokes

Chicken

Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.

Minefield

Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"

Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"

Officer: "Ok!"

*silence*

*explosion*

Cannibal

There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.

When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

In heaven, an angel asks him why.

“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”

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  • Dad

    What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.

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  • Mother

    Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!

    Store

    I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.

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  • Toilet

    Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?

    A. Neither does R. Kelly.

    War

    Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...

    *disconnected*

    Bed

    Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?

    Nun

    What's black, white, and red?

    A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.