Military jokes
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
When one just isn't enough
What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
You shout out, "B-52!"
Why do trannies suck at being soldiers? Because they have a 41% casualty rate.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"