What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces
I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
Q: How tall was Hitlers grass A: *Hitler salute* about this high
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school?
He mist.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
