Military jokes
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.
What do you call 6 gay men going to war?
Rainbow 6 Siege.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq... They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
What do you call a disabled man with a gun?
"Special forces."
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
IX + X = XXI. So XXI is two legions into one.
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
I wanted to buy some camo pants, but I couldn't find any.