Military jokes

"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"

"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"

"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"

Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.

Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school?

He mist.

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the other.

"I'm positive!"

School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.

Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!

I called a suicide hotline in Iraq... They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!

Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?

A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.

Two of my grandpas died in WW2.

Their tower fell over.

What is an army member's top drink?

WARter.

Why are we still fighting in darkness?

"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."

Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?

He got caught playing with his Privates!

Bro, WW2 was just a joke.

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.

Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?

Because it was over 18 years old.

What do you call 6 gay men in WW2?

Rainbow Six Siege.

What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?

Bruno Mars.