Military jokes
What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
What do you call autistic people with guns? Special forces.
Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?
Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
What does Army stand for?
Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.
What's the difference between a female NCO and a zebra?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
Why do trannies suck at being soldiers? Because they have a 41% casualty rate.
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
You shout out, "B-52!"
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
Name: Jack, call sign "triple".
School: Nova corps gun academy.
Location: Wyoming mountains.