Camp jokes
I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"
I was to go to space camp, but then I realized I had no space to learn.
Why do rappers take time to prepare for camping?
Tupac-in-a-tent.
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."
Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
Why do some people hate camping?
It's in tents.
Have you ever tried sex when camping?
It's f***ing intense.
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.
A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.
Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?
The maternity ward.
Why do people love camping?
Because it's in tents!
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.
Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"
"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."
"What else, Watson?"
"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What Else, Watson?"
"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"
"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"
If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.