Medicine jokes

Meal

The witch doctor came in my mouth last week. First hot meal I’ve had in weeks.

Calculator

Do this on a calculator.

There was this girl who was (13) but she wanted to be (84) but she was (45) but the doctor said (0). He said take these tablets (2x) a day, but she took them (4x) a day, and she ended up boobless.

People

Chuck Glisson · 2 years ago

Why do people consume "Laxatives"?

Answer: So that they can take a "Shit", STUPID!

Pregnancy

Lya · 3 years ago

My wife is pregnant with a 3-year-old, so I gave her medicine, but now she’s pregnant with a 5-year-old.

Part

1 view · Nitishgargggg · 4 years ago

The best part about being a medical student is, you will never run out of jokes.

Vaccine

2 views · ligmaballs2.0 · 2 years ago

The image uses the Drake meme format. In the top panel, Drake is shown with a disapproving expression, hand up as if to say no, next to the text "Chance a virus with a 99.97% recovery rate." In the bottom panel, Drake is smiling and pointing with a finger, as if in agreement, next to the text "Alter my DNA from an experimental vaccine, with NO liability, from a corrupt industry." There is a text label FALSE in a red box on the left.

Medicine memes

Cancer

11 views · Brooke · 3 years ago

"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."

Gonorrhea

36 views · Anonymous · 4 years ago

Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?

'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.

Banana

Anonymous · 5 years ago

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't "peeling" well!

Surgery

13 views · Anonymous · 7 years ago

I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.

Cancer

14 views · Anonymous · 6 years ago

Cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer.