ME jokes
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be called?
A self-me.
jokes got me like : 😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...
"Balls" got me like: 😂
Cheesy Meme Of The Day!
So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.
What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?
"Would you stop bugging me!"
In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.
[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
Everyone at the Queen's funeral:
Me and the boys getting her reboot card.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
That shit was trash. You can't handle me.
Hold up. Aren't you Nathaniel B.?
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."