ME jokes
I became anti-furry because I don't want Doom Slayer after me.
Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
Memes
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
Boss: Have a good day.
Me: *goes home*
I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You've got me DROPPING like it's HOT!"
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
I'd insult BlessedBrian, but it seems NATURE beat me to it.
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.