ME jokes
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me!
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
An orphan's favorite Roblox game is Adopt Me.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Call me an edgelord because I'm gonna impale myself on the edge of a spear.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.
Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.
And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.