ME jokes

Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.

When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.

Did you get seafood without me?

Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:

Starters - Foreplay

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl

Dessert - Blowy

Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a room with rubber rats. Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What’s the difference between milk and the air?

At least the air will always be there for me.

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.

"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"

People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"

"Yeah, over my dead body!"

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...

And then it hit me.

Sister: You're so stupid.

Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!

Friend: Hi!

Me: Who are you?

Friend: ...your friend?

Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.