What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!