when ant man is the size of an atom how can he breathe?
A man can form Jupiter girls came from Venus and other genders came right from uranus
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "everytime someone lies, it ticks once, Mother Terresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, " Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves??
Russell
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church. A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke but the third nun, her arm was too short.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whos fault was it? The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
46. I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
52. What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
54. What is the difference between Iron man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
The Mother and her Daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the Daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The Mother realized this and took off looking for her, after awhile, she found her tugging on a black man, the Mother asked "What are you doing" and the Daughter replied "I wan't the chocolate"
#1 Man : pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20
#2 Man : My son Died at level 4
#1 : Lol, Your son is a noob
my worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
What Did Iran Say To Oman
Oh Man I Ran Out Of Ideas
I look at my gf’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can
Like it’s my next meal
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off
I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to go check my garage, it’s all good bc I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
Y is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir"
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
The man was dangling by a string! ... I was jealous the day he died
