Man jokes
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
A man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?" Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!"
"Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign, and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached."
Why did the man cross the road?
Because he wanted to. :) :) :)
Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
Bill really said "your body, my choice," like, my man, it's your body, MY choice.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
Chuck Norris told those three men how to climb Trump's wall.
A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!
A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail. "Doctor, doctor!" He cries out. "What is it?" The doctor asks. "I can't feel my legs!" The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded. ". . . That's because I amputated your arms."
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
William Spiser is SOOOOOOO gay and likes MEN!
History is mostly just a list of things men did while women were busy making sure they didn't die of scurvy.
Bitches be like "Kill all men" till a black guy dies.
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.