Man jokes
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
What do call six gay men going in a war?
Rainbow Six Siege.
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
Men and depression have something in common; they’re always talking.
Man dies.
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
What's a rock band that has four men that don't sing?
Mount Rushmore.
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
Two men walk into a bar. You’d think at least one of them would have ducked.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!
Why don't gay men perform anilingus on each other in Greece?
Because anilingus is against the law in Greece.
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?