What position would a man with no legs and arms play in baseball?
Home base.
What do you call a white man farting? "British Gas."
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
What is gayer than man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”
Then she said that's true.
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?
It's not hard.
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
What do you call a man who can fly? A flying man.
Sorry man... I kinda messed those things up.
It's the Olympics.
Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.
What do you call a man who offended an NFL player...
Odin Floyd.
A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?
Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
