Man jokes
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?
Just take out his brain and there you go!
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?
Man: Okay, tell me a joke without the expense of anyone's feelings.
Me: Okay, so an Asian...
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
What hates men but would have no life without men?
A triggered feminist.
These are the reasons the West will fall. Also, men's rights are f***ing stupid if men keep voting for rich whites!
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
Men and depression have something in common; they’re always talking.
A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!
How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?
Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
Man dies.