Man

Man jokes

Day

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

Door

Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?

The seventh door.

Cheetah

The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.

The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."

The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"

Kid

One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"

The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"

Memes

Hairline

Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.

Jenga

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class and I said, "Man, they are really bad at Jenga!"

Cancer

Doctor: I have bad news.

Man: What?

Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

Man: Oh, no...

Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

Sex

What is gayer than man sex ring?

Not slapping the ass at Hooters.

Superman

What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.

Victim

Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.

Cock

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

Orphan

A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"

The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

The man said, "Your parents."

Pee

A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.

He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.