Man jokes

A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.

The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!

Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?

Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.

POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?

Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?

The very young and pretty nun was walking home from the soup kitchen when a homeless man dragged her into the woods and had his way with her.

When he was done, he asked her what she would tell the Mother Superior when she got back to the convent. She calmly said that she would tell her the truth.

She said: "I will tell her that I was on my way home when the most disgusting, repulsive, and abhorrent man dragged me into the woods and had his way with me... twice; that is if you are not too tired."

Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?

In fact, they don't age at all.

A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.

The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.

A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.

The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.

The man then got plastic prosthetics.

Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.

After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.

Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.

Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.

What did a man say to his boy?

You are my son.

A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,

"It's an elevator, not a lift!"

and

"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"

He keeps going on until the Englishman says,

"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."

I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.

The man fired from the World Trade Center on September 10.

That is just plain wrong.

Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.

What do you call 6 gay men in WW2?

Rainbow Six Siege.

Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.

Walter, I don't know, man, seems kinda sus.

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?

Sex worker.