Man jokes
Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave. Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work. Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.
Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?
Because he’s always on the webcast.
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Build a man a fire, he will be warm for a day. Give him some Tfox merch, and he will be on fire.
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that it’s fun to do jokes about rape. It’s really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!
Shoutout to gil44200ns for commenting on my post!
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
Two Arabs are swapping jokes. One cracks up and yells, "Man, that joke was an absolute blast!"
What hates men but would have no life without men?
A triggered feminist.