Make jokes

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.

I see all these 9/11 jokes, and I’m disgusted. I personally won’t make a 9/11 joke because they have a tendency to crash and burn.

A stupid dolphin makes an annoying noise.

The dolphin did it on porpoise.

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.

What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"

What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?

They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

Why can you never trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?

One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.

Please don't make a joke about me; I'm just a human.

The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.

Some guy: making a sandwich.

Me: *rages* to put the ham in!

I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.

My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.

I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.

How can you make a orphans hand bleed?

Real them to clap until there parent come home.