Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
Make Jokes
What did one pillow say to the other?
Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.
What do you call sex?
Making cake.
What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.
America is filled with MAYO MONKEYS (you could make a mayo sandwich!).
Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol
Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.
Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some DEPOSITS of RHYMES.
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.
How can a man make the world safer?
By having the chop.
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
How do you quiet a baby down?
Make baby back ribs for dinner.
Two sticks only make a fire.
Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.
Your forehead's so big, Jupiter's moons look up to it.
If you shined a light on it, it would reflect and be a star in the Andromeda galaxy.
Your forehead's so big, it's the main foundation for the wall of China.
Your forehead's so big, it makes up half of the Milky Way's mass.
Your forehead's the reason why the Earth still spins.
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.
The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
