Make jokes

My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Bagel."

"Bagel who?"

"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"

A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"

The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"

Your eyebrows could make the bushes outside feel jealous.

Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?

Best friend makes joke about 9/11.

Me: My pop was a part of that!

Best friend: So sorry!

Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.

How to make emo cakes:

Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!

If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.

Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.

The 10 cents said to the 1 cent, "Haha, I make more cents than you!"

What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?

One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.

W2S, you stinky, stanky fad. Seeing your disstracks really makes me wanna fap.

Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.

Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.

Teacher: Why?

Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.

Let's make this the most liked and commented on this website.

What is one thing humans do before they eat?

They beat their meat to make nuggets.

Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!

Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.

Aaron, you glad I didn't make this joke?

When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"

I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.