Machine Jokes

WALUIGI GETS HIS WALU-WEENIE STUCK IN A VENDING MACHINE!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

(Credit to Meme Machine)

What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"

Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gague shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun, he said "your crazy!", I responded "quackers"

Solve this equation: a gay boy+a whole lots a drugs

A hyped up f'ing machine

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

me and my suicidal friend are close, so i took him to the mall to treat him. we bought snacks, a new controller for his xbox and a led lights for him room to hopefully brighten his mood. after we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.

I found the best Gofundme https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.

What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common? They both like keeping one sock for themselves

Roses are red Obama is well spoken im sorry sir but the ice cream machine is broken

What did the rapper say to the broken vending machine?

"Yo, drop the BEAT”

Why was the washing machine laughing? It was taking the piss out of the knickers

Time is like a machine, it slows down when beaten

X【╦̵̵͇̿̿̿̿══╤─ I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22.caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!

Ive been sad recently the twin towers arnt round so i made the conclusion of a time machine to watch it again

What weighs 5 oz and is very dangerous.

A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!

I invented a time traveling machine and travelled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid, they told me, "it wasn't an asteroid...it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct". Tears ran down my face. Shame on you Pessi!