the twin towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine they both got freed
I have so many cash machine jokes But none of them seem to work ATM
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van if you touch my van I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan if you steal ice cream I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine
So there’s this air purifier in my room right, and it’s really noisy so I unplugged it to sleep better and sure enough I fell asleep faster, so I came to the conclusion if I unplug noisy machines people will sleep better. It worked really well in my local hospital
Little boy: Momma Mom: Yes my dear Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's Mom: Why!? Little boy: Just to see if there ice cream machine is actually broken
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle? Son: Why? Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
What do you call a fat indian that is actually a machine? The curry muncher 2000
(Credit to Meme Machine)
What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gague shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun, he said "your crazy!", I responded "quackers"
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child..?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you can’t use a vending machine when the powers out!
How do you turn get a straight guy into you a gay guy well.... For starts you grab that ass of his drag him into the bathroom and tell him to suck my long big pineapple and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into dick suckin machine
What did the rapper say to the broken vending machine?
"Yo, drop the BEAT”
I found the best Gofundme https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common? They both like keeping one sock for themselves
X【╦̵̵͇̿̿̿̿══╤─ I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22.caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!
Ive been sad recently the twin towers arnt round so i made the conclusion of a time machine to watch it again
Why was the washing machine laughing? It was taking the piss out of the knickers
Time is like a machine, it slows down when beaten
What weighs 5 oz and is very dangerous.
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
