Lawn Mower jokes

I still remember my grandpa's last words: "Turn the lawn mower off!"

How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?

You dye it blue and it will cut itself.

What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?

Shredded tweet!

How do you make a baby cry?

You run over it with a lawn mower.

A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.

A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.

How do you get your grass to cut itself?

Make it depressed.

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.

Why?

So it would cut itself.

My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.

I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut itself.