Lawn Mower jokes

I still remember my grandpa's last words: "Turn the lawn mower off!"

How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?

You dye it blue and it will cut itself.

What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?

Shredded tweet!

How do you make a baby cry?

You run over it with a lawn mower.

A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.

A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.

How do you get your grass to cut itself?

Make it depressed.

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.

Why?

So it would cut itself.

I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut itself.

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."