Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common? They both like keeping one sock for themselves
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
What did the rapper say to the broken vending machine?
"Yo, drop the BEAT”
Time is like a machine, it slows down when beaten.
Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of the knickers!
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.
I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!
What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.
Why did the hobo go back to the future?
To stop himself from wasting all his money on a rigged casino machine.
Long time since I made a joke huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one
Their was a enemy with a machine gun. My commander said "Un-arm the enemy". So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen. I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her! Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
