Location jokes

Where do terrorists go for a drink?

At the Allahu-ak Bar.

All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.

You must have been born on the highway because that's where accidents happen.

I've Benin there.

I'm Ghana go.

I've got to Togo.

A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"

I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"

Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?

The maternity ward.

Where did Sally go during the attack?

Everywhere.

What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?

Up Shepherd's leg.

Two men walk into a bar. You’d think at least one of them would have ducked.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Move to a new house.

Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house.

Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"

Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."

Q: What do you call a virgin from Alabama?

A: An orphan.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Island.

Island who?

Island the one that knows you!

Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?

A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.

What do you call an ass on a beach?

Sandy cheeks!