Literature jokes
A man walks into a library.
Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"
Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"
Suicidal Man: ...
Librarian: ...
The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.
What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter?
Only one came out of the chamber.
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
What do you call a fish that has a dick?
Moby Dickkkkk!
I don’t have a joke but a poem about a sex/dark joke.
Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream!
I once put the Bible in the fiction section.
I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.
What did the man say when he knocked down the bookshelf?
Looks like I've only got myself to blame...
Q. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name! 😂
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Summer wasn't too bad either.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said:
"F*ck off! You won’t bring it back."
What do you call a girl that likes reading? Page.
Who is the most famous skeleton? Sherlock Bones.
Hi, um okay... Knock! Knock! Who's there? Doris! Doris who? Doris look I need the key!
Um...oh here another one! Okay...so sorry I type random things on these joke sites...anyway...okay. What is a book never written: "Beautiful sites of the corel rife written by the ocean!"
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”
Why can’t he just speak plain English?
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(