Like jokes
I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.
Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead, so are you.
(I have no friends because all of my friends play Fortgay, just like my friends all of them are gay.)
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Why does everybody like the sun? Because it's hot.
Us: haha penis.
Korea: That sounds like a park name.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"
The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
I like trains.
*train hits him*