Like jokes
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
The earth is not round.
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It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
Memes
The last number of your like is the Amogus you get.
1: Amogus trollface
2: Frogus
3: Amogus in 2013
4: Chogus
5: Classic Amogus
6: Wait this isn't Amogus
7: Amogus drip
8: Amog sus
9: Amog stuff
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"
The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."
You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.
A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."
He went home, his parents weren't there.
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
You look like Megamind, drug dealer.
Eugenics is Hitler-like and, more importantly, feminist thinking.
Why do orphans not like jokes?
Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
I like Little Johnny's tight booty cheeks.