Like Jokes

Guy 1: "Stop looking at my ass!" Guy 2: "I said look at Uranus." Guy 1: "I'm looking at uranus!" Guy 2: "I said Uranus like the planet!" Guy 1: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

John, I like your cut, G.

Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.

Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)

How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.

I like trains.

*train hits him*

new years be like in my house

The image is a split panel. On the left, the text "Others" is above a blurry image of a crowd celebrating with confetti. On the right, the text "Me" is above a picture of a baby illuminated by the light of a phone in their hands. The words "Same To You" appear multiple times over the baby. Above both images it says "31st December Night".

The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."

Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?

Because it looks like a g-nome.

Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.

Gwen be like: Oh, I hate akeld, he is mean.

Also Gwen: *Spams the N word and momma jokes*

Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...

Why do orphans like boomerangs?

Because then they can play catch.

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

My wife accused me of cheating. I told her she started to sound like my wife.

Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.

I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."

I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.

If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.