Like jokes

Take a few steps back like your hairline.

A, B, C, E, F, G. You smell like a baby. Maybe you should not be "Hati-ey."

What do you call lesbian twins?

Lick-A-Likes.

Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.

Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.

I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.

Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.

The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?

What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?

They both like keeping one sock for themselves.

The Rock, more like the Rockpot! 😂😂😂😂😂

Hi guys, I'm going to be out for 3 days. Also, quote for the day and advice.

Quote. (Made by me) Don't look back at tomorrow; just look forward today. There are new thoughts, strength, and ideas.

Advice. Sometimes ppl have opinions, and those opinions are probably what you don't like, but don't bring negativity on them just because of what they're saying. If you chose, you probably say, "I don't understand that statement, but it does sound good." This is not a drama site; it's a joking site.

P.S. No hating in these comments.

Squirtle to Bulbasaur: "You kinda cum... like a baka..."

Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.

So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.

It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.

I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

Like if your best friend is emo. *repost* or like if you have a best friend.

How is sex like a game of bridge?

If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.

What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.

Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?

Cause it was plain.

Why don't some people like pennies?

Because it's common cents.