Like jokes

Rape jokes like cancer jokes or AIDS jokes are just humorous wordplay. If you don't agree, send me your details, and we'll see if you prefer actual rape to a harmless rape joke... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMORLESS SHIT MUNCHERS!

Two Native Americans

Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?"

The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.

His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?"

Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"

My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.

A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:

Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."

So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3

My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend Carla, can you spy on her?"

Me: "Your mom gay lol."

My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that, you rude girl."

You: "Your mom gay lol."

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?

A vowel movement.

Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes

A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,

"It's an elevator, not a lift!"

and

"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"

He keeps going on until the Englishman says,

"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.

She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.

What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.

Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

"You're really hot, I wanna hit on you like the plane hit the Twin Towers."

Your face is horrific like the state of the Twin Towers.

Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?