Like jokes

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.

Why'd the emo have no friends?

"Because they like to hang by themself."

I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he says.

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

I like my wine like my women:

16 and in my basement.

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.

Why do disabled people not like comedians?

Because they do stand up.

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.

Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.

Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?

Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!

Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?

Kid 2: No!

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.

How do you know you had a gay cookout?

All the hotdogs taste like ass.