Lifestyle jokes
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
Why did the hobo cross the road?
To get the rotten donut on the other side.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
Memes
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
What does a furry call a sexy furry?
A foxy lady!
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.
What makes emos jump?
Bridges.
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
What do apples and emos have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Your mum eats cabbage.
The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.
Nah, they eat emo meals.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
Your mom is emo, Deacon.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
I'm an Alabama gamer and I wanna be free.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."