Lifestyle

Lifestyle jokes

Fat

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

Emo

What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

Stool

How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?

Flip it upside down.

Kid

The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.

Emo

What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?

An edgelord.

Life

What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?

Wasted.

Friend

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

Emo

What do you call two emos spending time together?

Hanging out.

Child

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.

Hippie

How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.