Lifestyle jokes

Why did the hobo cross the road?

To get the rotten donut on the other side.

Hi! 👋 I love 💕 you love 💕 a good time at home. 🏡

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?

Flip it upside down.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.

The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.

I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.

What is an old lady's favorite exercise?

Trying to get up from the soft couch.

What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.

What’s the difference between rap lovers and the Gigachad?

Rap lovers get more pussy.

I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.

The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.

Why do emo people hang each other? Because they're too "Hengruy."

What do me and an emo kid have in common:

We both like to hang.

My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!

How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.

Why is it good to be an orphan?

Because every bag of chips is family sized.

Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.

What makes emos jump?

Bridges.