Lifestyle jokes
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.
Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
My dad told me he only drinks on days that start with a "T":
Tuesday, Thursday, today, tomorrow.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
What’s a rapper’s favorite EXERCISE?
Flexin’.
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.