Lifestyle jokes
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?
I don't joke about vegans. That would be tasteless...
I have no beef with them.
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
Six Seven went to a barber shop. He asked the barber if he could have the "six seven" cut.
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.
Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
My dad told me he only drinks on days that start with a "T":
Tuesday, Thursday, today, tomorrow.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
What’s a rapper’s favorite EXERCISE?
Flexin’.
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.