Lifestyle jokes
What do you call a flat emo?
A cutting board.
I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
What would you rather be, emo or handicapped?
Trick question, emo is a handicap.
Why do emo kids drink only herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
When does an Emo wake up in the morning? After the rooster says, "Cutadoodledo!"
Can emo kids get a happy birthday?
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
Why did the hobo cross the road?
To get the rotten donut on the other side.
Hi! 👋 I love 💕 you love 💕 a good time at home. 🏡
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
"I like ya cut G" means two different things.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
What do ya call an emo that's hung himself? Hangman.
Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?
Because they won't be there to stick around.