Lifestyle jokes
Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.
Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?
Because they won't be there to stick around.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
What's another nickname for a flat emo?
A copping boars.
🤔 What do Polish people 🇵🇱 🇵🇱 🇵🇱 in Poland do with 📰 📰 📰 📰 newspapers 📰 📰 📰 📰 after they are done reading them?
Use them for toilet paper. 🧻 🧻 🧻 🧻 😆 😄
What's an emo's favorite part about being dunked?
The hangover.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
"I like ya cut G" means two different things.
Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What would you call a gay man's couch? A Homo Sectional.
How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.