Lifestyle jokes

What do you call two emos spending time together?

Hanging out.

What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...

Carrots?

What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?

Wasted.

What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.

What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?

An edgelord.

The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.

My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!

Why is it good to be an orphan?

Because every bag of chips is family sized.

When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.

I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.

Why do emo people hang each other? Because they're too "Hengruy."

What do me and an emo kid have in common:

We both like to hang.

What is an old lady's favorite exercise?

Trying to get up from the soft couch.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.

What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?

Turkish.

I turned gay because my wife is too poor.

I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.

What’s the difference between rap lovers and the Gigachad?

Rap lovers get more pussy.

Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.