Lifestyle jokes
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?
An edgelord.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...
Carrots?
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
What do you call two emos spending time together?
Hanging out.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
Your mom is emo, Deacon.
Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.
What makes emos jump?
Bridges.
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
What do apples and emos have in common?
They both hang from trees.
I'm an Alabama gamer and I wanna be free.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
Why is it good to be an orphan?
Because every bag of chips is family sized.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.