Law jokes
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 was a 6 offender.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"
Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.
I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing. Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.
I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.