Law jokes
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?
I pull out of the driveway.
What can’t a Black person say to a police officer?
"Thanks for the warning."
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
What's the hardest part of being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!
Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...
Rape...hurt...and sell them!