Law jokes
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
Memes
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What can’t a Black person say to a police officer?
"Thanks for the warning."
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!
Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...
Rape...hurt...and sell them!
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
Age is just a number.
Police are just people.
Jail is just a room.