Law jokes
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Memes
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?
Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
What's the hardest part of being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
What can’t a Black person say to a police officer?
"Thanks for the warning."
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”