Law jokes

Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?

So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

Babe, I'm breaking up with you.

Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.

Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?

So they will be wanted.

What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?

One is loved.

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.

Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.

I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."

What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...

Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."

What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?

A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.

Why did the MOSFET go to jail?

It had a charge for battery.

Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?

Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.

What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?

“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”

Why do they have fences around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in.

A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”

What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?

I pull out of the driveway.

Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?

Sleeping Beauty.

What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?

KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.