Law jokes
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?
One is wanted.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?
Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.