Law jokes
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.
What can’t a Black person say to a police officer?
"Thanks for the warning."
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
What's the hardest part of being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?
Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
Why don’t pedophiles win races?
They like to come in a little behind.
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...