I like my women like my family, they’re related.
Law Jokes
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
What's the hardest part of being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What can’t a Black person say to a police officer?
"Thanks for the warning."
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
