Law jokes
A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.
All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...
Why do orphans become criminals?
To know what it’s like to be wanted.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.
Leo must be a parking ticket... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
Child predators: "You're so six-y."
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.
I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.
If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”