A kid asks Trump:
Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"
Trump: "There they are, bud!"
Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner.
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.
