Law jokes

What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?

A pedo-file.

I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.

That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.

An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.

I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.

My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.

I hate these double standards.

Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.

She said no, so I raped her.

Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.

Everyone punch orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What do you call a criminal?

Disarmed and dangerous.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"The FBI."

"The FBI who?"

"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"

Why was the picture in jail? Because it got framed!

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?

Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.

It is now legal to bully an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What’s the difference between rape and marriage?

With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.

Who would win?

The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,

Or one horny Henry?

If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.

What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?

The cops had to comb the area.

What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?

"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.