Law

Law jokes

Cat

Curiosity killed the cat.

But for a while, I was a suspect.

School

When you get caught about to shoot up the school,

*slowly puts AR to chin*

Ejaculation

I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!

Orphan

Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.

Cop

So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.

Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."

Eagle

Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?

Because it's ill-eagle.

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  • Draft

    To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.

    “Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”

    “Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”

    Rapist

    What's the difference between me and a rapist?

    He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.

    She was just 7 years old.

    Death Penalty

    Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor

    Difference

    What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

    Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.

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  • Kebab

    My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.

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  • Rape

    Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.

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  • Paedophile

    In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.

    Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.

    Sample

    Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?

    He was stealing all the samples.

    Corruption

    EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"

    Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."