Law jokes
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I got the joke from my brother.
Why does an orphan play GTA?
To get wanted.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered six offender.
Memes
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedophile.
Curiosity killed the cat.
But for a while, I was a suspect.
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.
Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor